Knock, knock

[Lindy]

Hey Trevor, how are you doing. Haven't seen any signs of life for the last several weeks so thought I'd check in to make sure you have not gone into reclusive mode. Dealing with your ongoing pain and mobility issues on a daily basis I'm sure can get quite depressing; but faith, optimism, and finding something that gets the gears in your mind turning in order to spin out solutions and a successful future is a game you can win (you just need a plan of action).

Have you thought any more about my suggestion that you change your focus from "hands-on installer/contractor" to that of a professional hardscapes consulting career and/or architectural/decorative concrete designer where you could put drawing skills and artistic/design talent to work? I know for a fact that there are a great many professional contractors that have the expertise to install/apply various types of decorative concrete surfaces; however, they find the actual design work concepts difficult (if they had a scaled drawing that they could easily trace/lay out) it would reflect well on their image while acquiring a greater number of referrals; and, you would be providing a profitable/needed service as well ...no backbreaking, painful work, just your artistic and creative skill, paper and pencil, a computer, and a enlarging/blueprint shop to blow up your designs/patterns. It would be great if they could be placed on some sort of paper that could be traced from the top, leaving the traced line image on the concrete under it (sort of like old time carbon paper that after cutting/scoring any remaining residue could be washed off). Just some food for thought!

Take care. Happy trails. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you my friend

Lindy

[NS'Creter]

Hi. Thank you Lindy. You're a good one. Smart too, I guess, 'cause you kinda guessed well as to where I was. I'm sorry about goin' AWOL. I have been having a really tough time with my symptoms becoming worse and new ones happening as well. And, yes, I will admit that I'm feelin' mighty low. Lower than whale shit, if you'll excuse my language. Last night and today have been somewhat better physically....all I can say is that I'm hangin' in there. Thank you so much.

[aynet]

I have also been concerned for you, Trevor. Your absence has been noticed. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Keep on going! There's no sense in giving up. I hope you can find somewhere to place your focus in an outward direction, so that you can pull up out of this slump. You'll make it! After all, you ARE a super hero!!!!

[Lindy]

You know Trevor, your artistic drawing ability might be a diamond in the rough avenue you could travel down. In times where contractors must have strong survival skills to overcome economically drive challenges, "humor can be the best medicine" ... while I usually skipped over 95% of the comic's section in the daily and Sunday newspaper, I now find myself reading them in order to start the day with a chuckle.

I am the Co-Host of the Decorative Concrete Forums (DCF) www.decorativeconcreteforums.com. What if this could serve as a venue, jumping off point, for some sort of "contractor cartoon/comic." Something short ... could even be one drawing of something that we all deal with occurring, with a funny caption under it; possibly developing into one that might have a few short stanzas (5-6 drawings/captions) that relates a short comic like storyline. For well over 10 years we have been the international leading interactive voice of the industry, having a strong sense of community. We get a minimum of 30,000 hits a month on our DCF site, over 1000 a day, and are consistently found in the top 1-5 search engines under various key words/phrases. We could feature your comic, get you exposure, that could work out into magazines picking up your "comic" for print in their publications (make you money); many of the magazine editors and staff are daily visitors to the DCF in order to keep up with what concerns contractors and what's new! Joe Nasvik, Chief Editor of Concrete Construction magazine, is a good friend of mine and I know some of the editors of other nationally and internationally recognized magazines as well. Again, "humor is universal and really brightens peoples day." This could be your new calling ... something that you are good at ... you would be providing a comic relief valve that those in our industry would truly enjoy. Maybe we could even team up on it ... I might be able to provide the caption/subject/wording and you the art work to go along with it (sort of like the 2 "Jib-Jab" do in video/wording form); only a short comic strip like I am referring to would not be really time consuming to any great extent; it would give you something to do, and my posting it on our DCF would definitely bring you recognition and possibility picking it up by other "paying publications and formats" Jim Peterson (owner of Concrete Network http://www.concretenetwork.com) is also a friend, I feel he would also be quite open to a trade related comic strip (whether it be one comic drawing with funny caption, or short one with 4-5 stanza drawings/captions).

I am sure that you have a ladder in your shop, so climb up out of your funk, and join us again. Understand that you are justifiably depressed; however, you need to find a way to get your mind off your plight and become productive in some way again that you find forefilling and can be accomplished from anywhere (even if it is in an easy chair, with paper & pencil and laptop connection to the world at large).

Lindy
Lindy

[NS'Creter]

I aprreciate all of this support and encouragement like you'll never know. I'm tryin' to pull outta this hole. Not working is killin' me...I cannot imagine how some folks do it on purpose. I'm sure that you all can relate when I say that my work defined me. The trucking and the 'crete were never just jobs. They were who I was. My own yard is an embarrassment, so much needs done...I'm havin' a hard time. My symptoms have become worse and more of them so that has been getting me down. I've tried so hard not to feel sorry for myself. The icing on the cake was when I learned about that huge municipal project going forward without me. It wasn't the money so much as it was the legacy. They're using a 24" stamped band on all of the sidewalks. So it's not the scope that was discussed in the beginning, but we all knew that was subject to change. They are using one of the doodles that I did as the plan though. That bothers me only because I get no credit for it. Oh well, I am feeling a bit better today and I can let that big job go but it's difficult to let myself go.
I so much appreciate you, my friends.

[Lindy]

Sorry to hear that the municipal project passed you by; but, don't let your life do the same. None of us has walked in your shoes, so we can't know the physical pain, mental stress, and loss of direction you face each day ... but, I do know that my mother would read me, my brother's, and sister the riot act every time we said "I can't do it" (she would say, how do you know you "can't" if you don't try). I'm sure you have been trying, but doing so probably seems like you're attempting to climb Mt. Everest; the thing is, you can choose to stand at the foothills and just look up saying I "cant' ever reach the top of that mountain;" or, you can start putting one foot in front of another, inching along at pace you can handle, even if it means you only moved a few feet up that mountain each day; some day you will reach the top as your redesign and redefine yourself.

I know that you have gears that are capable of turning in your mind; regardless of what you physical body is or isn't capable of. Maybe you should focus on inventing something that would make contractors work easier (could be a tool or something else of value). I had an idea once, but never go further than that ... having crawled around on knees on hard concrete for many years (with or without kneepads doing so hurt, eventually sort of blew my knees joints out). When you install seamless epoxy/colorquartz 4" cove base, speed cove, or even contractors that install regular floor/wood cove base molding on hard/smooth floors, you have to inch along down the wall/floor junction on your knees (slow and painful). What I wanted to invent was a cushioned rolling assembly that the wheels could be locked into a parallel to the wall angle. The assembly would be about as long as a skateboard, have padded blue/goo for cushioning knees, then about 1' higher another padded blue/goo tier to rest your elbows on, along with flip down trays on sides to put material or tools you are using. This rolling assembly would alieve knee pain, stress of leaning at strange angles since you would have a place to lean forward to rest you elbows (both areas being blue goo padded; you know like the shoe insert commercial "are you gelling today") ... enabling contractors to scoot/roll along at a rapid pace parallel to walls to comfortably complete their work (instead of inching along with strap on knee pads dragging all their stuff along with them across the floor). I have a sort of idea/drawing/plan but I am NOT a draftsmen; nor, am I a Bob/the fabricator builder ... although I believe my rolling along knee and elbow padded would be something that contractors would really want if it was available; furthermore, I could promote and sell them on the Decorative Concrete Forum (DCF) that I have co-hosted for over 10 years. If you have nothing else constructive to do, you might be able to come up with a professional drafted drawing (based on my rough draft and your ideas); we could be partners :>) Your Crete Crusader image could be on the packabe (becoming the logo). Yes, I'm just rambling but it is "food for thought," so I let you digest it ... if you like the idea we can go from there (I even have a book "patent it yourself," has all the forms necessary and step/by/step instructions to do so; I used for a lawnmower attachment my grandfather came up with, costly a very nominal amount to do.

Lindy

[NS'Creter]

Funny you should mention inventions. About 15 years ago (or so) I came up with 3 seperate accessories, functional accessories, for pickup trucks. In a magazine that I had there was this firm offering to help inventors patent and market their inventions. I was, admittedly, quite green and wet behind the ears so I contacted them and dove in. I didn't know if my ideas were ever done before, all I knew was that I had never seen anything similar before and wanted them for my own truck. Well, long story short, I plowed a bit more than $10,000.00 into their services and have a nifty "book" to show for it. They determined that my ideas were patentable and marketable but needed much more money to take things to the next level. By this time I was not only tapped out but starting to realize that this firm wasn't looking out for my best interests. (I told ya that I was green.) The relationship between them and me lasted for about a year and I brought it all to a whoa at that point. About 2 years after that, maybe less, I received notice that the firm had filed bankruptcy. About 5 years ago I began to see products similar to the ones I had designed available on the market. There were a couple of details/parts missing from their design but they were very similar. I'm not saying that anyone stole my ideas, not at all. After all, a person would have to be incredibly arrogant to think that nobody else on the planet could come up with a similar idea. The name of that firm, by the way, was TLCI...Technology Licensing something something. Oh well, it was interesting. Expensive, but interesting...and educational.
Just thought that I'd throw that little story about one of my experiences in there.
You are so right Lindy...the word "can't" and the phrase "I can't" are poison. Words that I taught my boys should never pass through their lips.
This CRPS seems to be all consuming. In addition to the many physical symptoms there are mental symptoms as well. My memory has become incredibly poor and I get confused very easily. Yes, these are known symptoms of the condition, but add in massive quantities of meds and there are times that I don't make much sense at all. As you can imagine, all of this has devastated my confidence in myself. I'm not whining or looking for pity, I'm just tellin' it like it is. If what I tell people can help them to understand this disease it may be usefull to them when dealing with me or someone else that they encounter who has it. Today, for example, my physical symptoms were quite severe but I feel mentally strong. At least I think that I'm making sense. Heh,heh.
I really like your product idea Lindy. I know as well as you that there is definately a demand for such an item. I would love to work with you in any capacity at some time...it would be a thrill for me. I'm not saying that "I can't" I'm saying that I'm not ready yet. I'm too inconsistant. We seem to get the meds regulated to a point where everything is managable and this damn CRPS takes another twist and turn and we're back at square one. It is so frustrating. I have an appointment on the 30th of this month with the specialist, Dr. Pollett. He has done amazing things for people and I trust him. Even my own family doc has put a lot of hope and trust in him.
As I said, today isn't too bad...mentally. You foks help so much with your encouragement. Even just allowing me to ramble and vent at times is a big help. I'm getting tired and muddled right now so I'll sign off before I'm babbling uncontrollably heh,heh. Thanx so much.

[Lindy]

Maybe you should start a blog (they are free through many sources on the web). My free hosted blog is: www.highdefinitionconcrete.blogspot.com You could call your blog www.crapaboutcrps.blogspot.com

I think this would be very therapeutic for you, as well as help others who may be suffering with CRPS understand that they are not alone as to their ups/downs, various pains and syndromes associated with it, depression in relation to being a productive member of society and household contributor, stress of no longer being able to function at 100% (physically and mentally), fear of the effects of drugs and treatments they are undergoing, dark days when the odds of being able to pick themselves up and go on seem insurmountable, etc

No matter how bad your CRPS condition is, there will always be those that are worse. I think it is important that you focus on the fact that you are alive, still with the family that loves and supports you unconditionally. Try to do something that challenges you each day, even if your progress is only a few inches (meteorically speaking), you will still be moving in a forward direction. If you get your mind off your problems and pain you may find that moving only a few inches ahead each day good mental medicine; as I said above, a blog where you can get your feeling out, as well as give others the comfort that they are not alone in going through tough times, a worthwhile endeavor.

Lindy A.

Even if some of your blog writing sometimes seemed to be repetitive or foggy as to it's content, those who have CRPS would understand, since they are dealing with the same conditions and issues. Of course, visitors to your blog would have a haven to post their thoughts and comments; possibly helping to prop you up on a days you are leaning precariously toward desperation and teetering on the edge of despair.
Lindy